Monday, January 09, 2006

I Have Become Downright Provincial

So, it's happened and perhaps there is no turning back... perhaps there is hope. This is what happens when you move to the suburbs, I suppose. Not that we have all the attractive trappings of the suburb life; We don't own a home or a dog or have a backyard and frankly the schools are not so much better as less crowded. We still stuggle to make ends meet and often they actually don't from week to week. But somehow I still had a sense of hipness about myself, of being somewhat 'cool', as I had when I was living in Los Angeles and working in the Industry. Oh sure, there were clues that this had faded away. One was when I made an entry into my Quicken for the purchase of a haircut and noticed that the last haircut I'd had was 8 months earlier! I've stopped wearing makeup on my days off but I could still tell myself that that was my little rebellion against the Tyranny of the Cult of Youth and Beauty Towards Women. The fact that S.O. (Significant Other) and I have not been out alone at night for over two years we keep TELLING ourselves is because of the expense of an adequate and reliable babysitter and lack thereof.

I mean, we watch the right things, we listen to NPR and (sometimes) music still and we read the hip Internet sites... But it has happened, I've gone native. What was the clincher? I bought a pair of jeans online (gift certificate from S.O.'s brother) and when they arrived they weren't quite right. But I decided not to send them back because by the time I paid for shipping back and then forth I would have paid $40 for a pair of $40 jeans that were supposed to have been a bargain in the first place... but the real shame of it all is that they are Levi's - no, not 501 or even 505 - Levi's 550... Relaxed fit... Tappered (cringe)... Yes, that's right. Say it loud, say it proud: Mom Jeans. And I'm wearing them right now on a trip to Target to buy diapers wherein I will bribe my little S.O.'s, versions 1 and 2, with candy for good behavior in the store. So sad...


demondoll said...

D*mnit, you give those jeans to charity, cut them into teeny tiny shortshorts- something. Do NOT wear those again. They makes one's ass about 5x wider than it really is, and you are too cute to be wandering around looking like an ice cream cone!
Target is cool.
You need to find a babysitter, y'all can't waste your hottie relationship w/ no date nite. (I am a hypocrite, though, because we didn't really date until we moved closer to relatives.)
D*mnit, do I have to come down to PD to burn those jeans?! You.are.too.cute.for.mommie.jeans!
For F's sake, get rid of those jeans...

Lulu said...

My sister has requested my presence on your comments.
So here goes -
"Ma'am. Ma'am, I'm going to need you to step away from the Mommy pants. You are too young and have too much promise to throw your waist-down figure away. Step away from the Mommy pants!"