Sunday, September 14, 2008

McCain's new slogan "If Elected I Will Save You Money!"

That's right, if elected a female Republican Vice President will be cheaper to pay! Since Republicans do not adhere to the equal pay for equal work doctrine (oops, sorry threw a confusing word in there, doctrine another word for 'plan') then that means we, the country will be able to pay Sarah Palin less!

Best figures I could find:
Cheney salary $208,100 per year
Palin will save us over $40,000 a year (Cindy can buy a new pair of shoes on that!) at a frugal $160,237 a year.

Wow, pretty and a bargain! Why didn't we think of it sooner! Who says McCain doesn't care about the budget!

Monday, September 08, 2008

Reasons Why Sarah Palin WILL Get McCain Elected

"She's so pretty" - She almost reminds me of the high school cheerleaders who were pretty, popular, snide, poking fun at 'different' or nerdy kids was their platform.

"Voters don't vote on VP because it's not really the VP who runs the country" we liberals like to think. But don't tell that to Dick Cheney, come on now, people, see look, you made him cry. Everyone knows Cheney has been working diligently all these years on his own on our behalf, destroying shoring up the country for us. Of course he runs things. Who do you think sneaks quietly into the White House quarters and slips a drunken finger off the button each night?

"Well, at least their ticket is all white!" (See post "Who's Your Daddy" February 13, 2008) - or I could be wrong and we hate women even more than we fear black men... well, not if they're pretty. "If they're pretty and we make then VP will the sleep with us?"

"Sarah Palin, bet she drinks beer huh?"

"McCain is gonna pertek the wealthy. I'm gonna be wealthy one day. I just know it. I been prayin' on it."

Everyone likes to think they have 'small town' values - even if they didn't grow up in a town all that small. And we all KNOW Palin has small town values just from growin' up in one... hmmm, wonder where her daughter grew up? (Shotgun weddin's invented in small towns?) How those values workin' out for you, Bristol? Yeah, she looks pretty happy. Of course, everyone knows the 'rules' per se are for them. All of those people who can't realy handle themselves.

Palin will remind voters that not only does she have small town values - but McCain has them too - because his own homes and staff make up a small town, not to mention Cindy's jewelry collection - the yearly budget... of a small town! See!

'Cause them religious people only mind when you neglect the baby in utero...