Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Things I Said I'd Never Do

I have been thinking lately about all the things I thought I'd do/accomplish in my life. Very few have come to pass...

But it got me thinking about all the things I said I'd NEVER do/be and many of them have. Hmmm...

1. I said I would NEVER move to Palm Springs - Thinking that I had finally found the place that I could call my home and felt was my territory in LA (I know it sounds weird but what are ya gonna do...) and not only could I not imagine ever living anywhere else I just plain didn't want to. And yet here I am. Going on year 4...

2. I thought a woman with long hair after the age of 40 was RIDICULOUS - Here I am, at 40, and I looked in the mirror this morning and my hair has grown past my shoulders. I guess that could be considered 'long'. I don't feel, though I very well may be, ridiculous.

3. Get married before I was 30 - With two marriages under my belt BEFORE even turning 30 and the 3rd when I was 31 I guess that theory got all shot to hell. Like 'born again virgins' though, I figured my first 2 were just practice and my only 'real' marriage was the one I have now, after 30... does that work?

4. Have children BEFORE my career took off - Thinking that one would have to slow down their career once children were in the picture (Let me just clarify here, the career of the WOMAN, not the man, practically nothing changes for them career wise) I was sure that I would wait until I had some 'success' before I had children. Since there was no success in the offing for me I figured I might as well go ahead and have children while I still could. Now I wonder why I waited! Hey if I wasn't going to be successful anyway in my career what the hell was I waiting for?

5. NOT lose the baby weight right away - Well that theory was shit canned as here I am nearly 2 years post last baby and still with the bulk (and I do mean BULK) of the weight still on. Jogging stroller and all it is still hard to figure out the time and the spare energy to actually do it. Yes, of course you get more energy when you exercise and eat less sugar. But those people that say that aren't still waking up several times a night to comfort a scared child because the cat made a noise or the little one kicked you in the head.

6. After my last job (well the one right before the last) I said I'd NEVER work in an office alone again - Being a very social person, 4 years in an office with just me and the boss, and his two kids (home office) and occasionally his accountant/wife to talk to, I promised myself that I would never torture myself again with that kind of scenario. Here I am how many years later, working in an office alone. Except this time it's not a home office so I don't even have the wife and kids to talk to. I do have a building full of tenants to talk to but it is cordial and slightly awkward at best. I still, after living here for three years, do not have what I could call 'a friend'. Maybe only I think I am a social person and really everyone else doesn't think so. Of course the upside is that I was able to bring S.O.v.2 to work with me her first 7 months (and am able, in a pinch, to bring the kids to work without causing anyone but myself any consternation), saving a large amount of money on babysitters and me an enormous amount of abandonment guilt.

7. Give up acting - I may not have made that statement but I do have a de facto situation where, in point of fact, I have by necessity given up acting. Who knows what will come to pass in the future... but it has been 3 years, the longest period of time where I have gone without my true love and it utterly sucks. Oh sure, in theory I COULD go out and audition for the one, maybe two, local theatre companies but with very little margin for budgeting error what would I do with the kids? In my last production the other actors were generous enough to put up with me bringing S.O.v.1 along to rehearsals without too much complaint. But he was a little tyke. Now with a 2 year old and a 4 year old that just wouldn't, under any circumstances, fly. With no money for a baby sitter, a husband who works who ever knows what hours, no friend to lomp them on, I have, de facto, given up.

Which is just all to say, you never ever know, so maybe you just shouldn't say.

Now, if you have read this entire post to this point - TAG - you're it. You must now tell me what the 7 things you said you'd never do that you ended up doing anyway.


demondoll said...

1- give up acting
2- have children
3- get fat
4- drive a GD minivan
5- teach
6- go to church like lil ole church ladies
7- wear sensible shoes (ok, I'm not sure I really mean this one, but I used to wear much cuter zapatas)

Anonymous said...

1. Marry a man with a kid.
2. Drink Manhattans (old people
drink these)
3. Leave the house without makeup
4. Stay home on Saturday nights
(and enjoy it!)
5. Feed my child Hot dogs
6. Go above a size 4
7. Stop flirting

Anonymous said...

Wow!, you are a great writer!!

Francisco Soto