Bee-stung lips and other ailments

I was just telling a friend of mine that I don't usually do the "let me tell you about the lousy day I had" blog posts too often. Because I don't want to seem like too much of a navel gazer because that is really boring for other people (besides me) and because it seems like when you read blogs randomly that is what they are all about. "I'm so pissed at my mom because she wouldn't like let me go to the mall because of some stupid thing about me coming in at 3am, like shah, like she didn't come in totally late the other night!" Just kidding. I don't even know if teenagers say 'totally' anymore. Probably not...

In any case, I feel compelled to complain because I am just so irritated with my various injuries primarily because they are all self-inflicted. You know when you bite yourself for no obvious reason? Then you have to be super careful not to do it again, but it never matters how careful you are because inevitably you do!? What a bummer. And what is the biting all about anyway? Is it your subconscious trying to tell you something? And if so, why the passive-aggressive thing, why not just come out and say it Subconscious? Come on, don't be shy, I can take it. Be honest with me... but it never does and before long the bite turns into or activates that virus that most of us have called the canker sore. Ugh! Throbbing all night. Not much sleep. Got up twice to do the masochistic baking soda pack on it. Eyes watering at 2 in the morning, then again at 3:30... ouch. Still upon awaking, it's still there. Why is it that no matter how much lysine, vitamin C, laying off sugar and baking soda packs you inclict on them the things stay around to torture you 3-5 days...

On top of that I have runners rash. This is my own fault for trying to get in shape and lose the two babies worth of fat which of course is layered primarily on the inner thigh, where runners rash appears naturally. The other night I resorted to applying the babies' diaper rash cream because I just could not take the burning and the everytime you put your legs together sting in the middle of the night. Seems unfair doesn't it? I mean, I am doing what Bob Greene, Oprah, Dr. Phil, Dr. Atkins, Runners World and Triathlete Magazine have TOLD me to do! Why am I being punished?

Then the other week I bumped into something at the gym which gave me a nasty and large bruise. Didn't hurt though unless I poked it, so my plan, don't poke it. But in the last 24 hours it has swollen - probably because of all that running and biking working the muscle the bruise is on. Now it just hurts hurts, poke, no poke.

Last night if I could get comfortable on my stomach then my canker started to throb. If I laid on my right side the runners rash pressed together and stung. If I laid on my left side my weight fell on my swollen bruise. Ugh!

You know, in a case like this, it would probably be easy to ask "Why me?" and in the middle of the night laying on my back on the sofa (did I mention the allergies are high at the moment so I can't breathe through my nose unless propped up? - sheez) I could have asked, but frankly, I was too tired. Blast. Hell. Damnation. Cripes.

Now, in the light of day and just as uncomfortable I am just mad, and ready to show my subconscious (or body, whomever it is that is trying to send me a message) and go workout after work today anyway! Ha! There! I'll just inflict more pain on you nasty buggers.

That'll show you, Subconscious!