Sleep, Interrupted

Just after S.O.v.1 was born D-Doll and WGD were over for a visit. I remember asking them at what point you got to sleep through the night again. WGD said "We'll let you know"... I believe their boy was about 2 1/2 at that point... oi.

I thought of that at about 3am last night as S.O.v.2 woke me up yet again for milk or being cold or bad dream... Not that I was sleeping that well anyway. My seestor and her family were evacuated from their home in Rancho Bernardo in San Diego yesterday morning. The fire creeps ever closer to my mom's home where they all are. It could be engulfing her grocery store as I write this and I just got an email from one of my best friends who is being evacuated from her home in El Cajon area now....

And I just found out from Oprah the other day (where else would one learn things?) that I am probably experiencing perimenopause. Of course my mother had been telling me this the past two years but I was in denial. And who believes their mother anyway? It's just not done! So that is probably contributing to my sleepless nights (and also my sadness in understanding that even if I could get S.O. to agree to it, I'll probably never have another baby. But I should beware of what I say never to - I said I'd never live in this desert. Oooooo! I'll never lose this last baby weight! I'll never be wildly successful in my career! My children will never talk to me when they're teenagers! I'll never live to 100... maybe it'll work).

But I would really like to sleep. I have always had what one would call a difficult relationship with sleep. I sort of envy my seestor and mom, they can really sleep and love to. I have not been a great lover of sleep so much either. Though I do love the nap genre of sleep and can usually without much trouble. Maybe I am kind of an Einstein and have been resisting. Maybe I need spurts that add up to 7 or 8 hours and not all of them in a row. It's all of them in a row that I have real problems with.

And stress doesn't help. I first came to realize I had a sleeping problem when my mother was ill. I was 19 and when she was in the hospital I just was not sleeping much at all. It began to worry my then boyfriend and I went to the doc and got some 'sleep aids'. But then I'd have the sleep aid hangover, which if you've never experienced it, really rivals a tequilla hangover. I understand they are better now but... Thank goodness for melatonin. Even if it doesn't help keep me asleep I wake up less tired than without it.

So maybe my best strategy at this point is to embrace the "Sleep when you're dead!" attitude... if only I never had to be anywhere on time, that might be the perfect solution...