The Illusion of Love

I watched "Must Love Dogs" last night, a film essentially about finding 'the one' and then tonight as I was washing dishes I watched "One Tree Hill". I usually stop on it for at least a little while when surfing because of Chad Michael Murray. No! Not because I think he's dreeeeeamy but because I worked with him on "The Lone Ranger" when I still lived in L.A. - BE (Before Exile). It's that loyalty for no reason thing, and because he is genuinely a nice guy. OK, he's a little dreamy.

Annnnnyway, as I'm washing dishes I'm thinking this show is all about who's doing who, except it's more than that, it's about who's falling in love with whom. Clearly, it's aimed at teenage girls... But so many shows and movies come down to that one magical thing; love. Who doesn't want to be loved! I mean, come on, it's fundamental. But I realized that it is also an illusion. Love, more than anything else really can give you a sense of well being that goes beyond temporary. It's good to feel loved. It's good to love. But the message, when love is portrayed in movies and television (and I am generalizing here), seems to be the only work you need to do is to FIND it. Then you're done. Satisfaction for the rest of your life. (OK, I know one shouldn't really be philosphizing over a sink full of dishes and normally I don't do them at all, but my dishwasher is in Santa Barbara at the moment. S.O.'s working making money for the family, work that is non-existent here in the desert during the summertime, so I am playing single mom for three weeks. Washing dishes just takes way too long, too much time to think!)

But that is the illusion isn't it? That is the destructive force, that idea, that it's couldn't be that you stopped appreciating your loved one, or started acting disrespectful or taking them for granted (because when you treat someone poorly you subconsciously feel bad, and when you feel bad about the way you have behaved your psyche tends to try to find the path of least resistence which is find the person you have mistreated deplorable for some reason and therefore justify your mistreatment). No, it's that they are not 'the one'. You have 'stopped loving them' you don't know why you just did and can't anyone tell that is not your own fault! You know, I get that love fades and sometimes doesn't stand up to life. I mean, hell I've been divorced twice! I do get that.

It's just that I think there are destructive and distracting ideas about love that float around the world. It is great to be in love but it is not the only thing that can give one a sense of well being. And frankly, I think there is so much focus on 'love' and finding it, and the right 'one' that there is less energy left for all the other parts of life. There are lots of things that can give you that sense of well being; music, eating, laughing... There are also many things in this world that need our attention.

I guess, I just get annoyed that the real struggles don't seem to be portrayed. And maybe it's because we can't figure out how. Many of life's other struggles are internal and have more to do with fighting your own demons than embracing someone else. It has always been the same of course. Finding love is the most titilating part of the story and has been memorialized in every kind of human expression there is... the rest is... work.

Global Warming Training

We spent a lovely three days in Santa Barbara and arrived home to the desert to... 120 degrees... plus hot wind...

Hell. It actually is very hell like. Just as we were driving up some neighbors of ours were escaping to cooler climes for the night. And a no wonder. Our airconditioner is struggling to reach 90 on the thermostat temperture monitor (that's as high as it goes) and not quite there yet after three hours at home. Who knows what temp it really is in here. Sweaty. That is a few degrees beyond sticky right? I mean, I am sitting here, inside my home, with all the windows and door closed and I am sweating.

As we left Santa Barbara we stopped at Vons for water and cookies for the ride home. The checker said it was "awful" outside... oh if he only knew. What a wimpy!

The only upside that I can think of is that this just might come in handy if we can't manage to get out collective head out of our collective rear and insist that something be done about global warming. It's like astronauts. They train in a weightless enviornment to simulate what they will be dealing with while in space. We are getting our global warming simulator right here in the (sometimes beautiful) Coachella Valley! All the wealthy people move here to golf and relax but leave when the going gets hot. But us full time residents who have no extended relocation choice must suffer through the painful heat and the excrutiating electric bill. The wealthy are so dumb. If they were smart they'd actually STAY here for the summer. Come on, suck it up! But no, they won't. What they don't realize is, us po' fok is creating an uber-race that will be able to withstand temps like no one else.... maybe the meek shall inherit the earth... when it's ALL 120 degrees!

Summer sick

There is nothing worse than being sick in the summer time. But in the desert it's actually not so bad. When temps are pushing north of 110 and the wind is blowing hot and dry, like someone please close the oven door!, then it is a little bit of a blessing in disguise.

I dread the countdown to the end of summer - not as some of you who are NOT in exile in the desert might - but dread the length of it. So any few days that can eliviate some of the boredom and cabin fever are welcome. See, when you're sick of course you don't lament not being able to go outside so much.

But this summer we have had 2 weeks plus of illness. The little Significant Others have been cold and flu on and off and throw in a couple goopy eyes and allergic reactions and you have sick soup. Finally, this week S.O. and I caught it. For as many germs were flying around our house I think we did pretty well fending off the sick!

Finally it seems we are all on the mend and I am so grateful. There is nothing worse than watching your little ones suffer. Maybe now I might get some regular sleep.

And the countdown to coolness - only 2 1/2 months to go! Ummm... rah?... or maybe ugh...